It's been 4 months since she left. Thought the hectic work schedule may probably alleviate the distress we've been struggling with, how on earth did we find time to mourn? Yet the little time that was left makes us realise the grief is still naggingly painful.
Dreamt of her suffering just last nite. Perhaps I was stressed or weary. What should have been a hearty reminisce turns out to be a wrenching nitemare... I just cannot help but weep. I literally felt the hurt and am still feeling it.
This is my first encounter in losing someone so close to us. Our family has always been complete till a consequential figure goes missing...I feel really helpless.
On one hand, I am running short of adjectives to describe my bereavement; to take away the tears. On the other, I can almost understand how Jesus conquered Death.
The essence of life has changed. Life itself no longer holds its supremacy over the living of it. Wait a minute, I ain't suicidal! I just find that death isn't as scary as it used to be. Do we call this Faith?
But Lord Jesus, I still do not wish to be tested so soon.
-shrug-
Life itself no longer holds its supremacy over the living of it.
ReplyDeleteVery well said, sis. It's no wonder they say faith is above everything. :p
I can't imagine if without this faith, how else we could manage this grief. Or how else could we reconcile the extremes (between life and death, between earth and heaven, between doubts and beliefs...)
I am just glad that i have both of u as my sisters to share the load, pain and joy....
ReplyDeleteRest assured that mum will find her new friends up there and guide us whenever she is FREE.
WAH!!!! Brother finally penned down his 5cents worth of advice!
ReplyDeleteGive me toto numbers instead la!
P.S. I do think that she's been quite free lately...been "haunting" me in my sleeps and even "calling" me?!! (just some calls from weird number tt hung up on me when i ans!)
its ur stalker la not her.... she sleeps like a pig one... but then like what jon said before "is there any time difference between here and there...." ahahhaha
ReplyDelete